What do you want to be when you grow up? Kids everywhere get this question every day. For parents, tracking the responses can be interesting.
A typical pre-K kid will tell you something like superhero, rock star, or astronaut. Elementary-age tend to go for doctor, nurse, police officer. By middle school, the rock star is back, along with concert pianist, zoologist, or dancer. Sometimes president makes it to the list.
By high school, the question begins to take on real meaning, and the pressure begins to build. The answer needs to be something “possible,” so astronaut and superhero are out. Doctor, lawyer, engineer are common responses. Architect and zoologist aren’t uncommon.
As someone who talks to a lot of mid- to late-career adults, the reality is somewhat different. For kids who finish high school and head to college, many head for pre-law or pre-med, sometimes engineering school for those who enjoy math. But the vast majority go to college or head right into the workforce without a clearly fixed goal.
As a result most working adults ended up doing something they never planned on. A typical scenario is: finish high school, go to college, get a job while in college or right after “just to pay the bills.” And boom, it’s a career. Twenty-five years later they look back and wonder what happened.
People are prone to “fall into” careers that were never part of the plan or might even be changes in direction from the plan. That’s not a bad thing all by itself, but even if you’ve had a successful career, it’s always good to take some time for a check-up to see if you’re still on the right path. It’s not uncommon to be making great progress toward the wrong destination.
The question we posed at the start of this essay is wrong on several levels. First, it’s not “what” we want to be – it’s “who.” Who do you want to be? Because who you are is far more than what you do for a living. And it’s not as though being “grown up” is a constant state. Hopefully we continue to learn and grow – and possibly change careers for something that is better for our needs now than it was 20 years ago.
It can be challenging to step away from a career that feels productive. But the question is whether it’s producing the results you want. Maybe the money is good, but you’d like more time. Or you have flexibility, but you’re not compensated for the value you provide. Maybe you’d like to try something else altogether. Changing careers mid-stream is not only common, it can include numerous side benefits in terms of mental health and overall well-being.
If you haven’t done a career check-up recently or ever, now would be a good time. You might decide things are going well, but you might decide that there are other opportunities that make more sense.
Just because you’re grown up doesn’t mean you can’t be something – and someone – else.